how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
