: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
