My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
