For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
