I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
