did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
