don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
