he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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