dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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