Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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