god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
