Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
