I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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