There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
