I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
