Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I have already put on my inside pants.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
