I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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