i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
