I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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