Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
