I hate your face
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
