I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
