Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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