I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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