when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
