he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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