i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
