There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
