His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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