Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize