Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
