So drunk its hurt
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
