i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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