porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash