it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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