I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
