I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize