Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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