Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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