No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
