i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
