so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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