Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
