love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
