i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
