im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
