Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
