I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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