Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize