A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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