I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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