sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He better not be in your backpack
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
