i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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