Too much gin, very little bucket
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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