The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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